he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize