jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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