i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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