We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He did a backflip because drugs
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