why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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