Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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