you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
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Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize