I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize