last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
third nipple confirmed
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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