Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize