Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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