you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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