I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize