My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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