I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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