ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize