If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize