sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize