I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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