dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize