My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
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Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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