I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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