Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
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I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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