Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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