things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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