If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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