My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize