So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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