Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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