You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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