She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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