she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize