New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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