He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We had to coat check the pizza.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize