I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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