smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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