we have pet lesbian snakes
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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