Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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