At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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