Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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