Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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