the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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