Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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