were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
not ubering you a puppy
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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