I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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