We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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