Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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