You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize