the day after is always just damage control
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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