It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize